A WORD FOR FATHERS

(This is an abridged version of the sermon preached at Eepworth Chapel, Baltimore on 6/17/12)

"My child, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves the one he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights." (Proverbs 3:11-12)

The images that can be conjured from the Proverbs text are stark and vivid as we remember growing up. We might hear in the text, the authoritative yet assuring voice of a father or father- figure saying in essence, “I’m applying this discipline for your own good, because “I love you” – “I hate to do this, but it is for your own good.” In the midst of being corrected and disciplined in our youth, we might picture – in the text - the hurt, anger, embarrassment, and disappointment that we experience of there being a need for correction by our father. We might even imagine – in the text - the warmth of assurance, confidence, and comfort in an unbroken relationship even amidst admonition and correction.

On this Father’s Day, we take time to celebrate and honor the unique contributions that fathers make to the development and well-being of their children. We also remember that even if we have not had the benefit of a relationship with our biological father, we have all been blessed at some point by men – father figures - who have stood in the breach and helped to lead families, teach the young, and prayerfully build a better future for us.

For those of us who are blessed by God to be fathers, Father’s Day should serve as our annual reminder of the divine, God-given responsibilities we have in helping to raise our children, helping to make provision for our household, and leading by example.
On this Father’s Day, we take time to recognize and acknowledge the need for fathers, and where necessary father-figures, to continue to step up and help show the way for our children. We remember the plethora of boys and girls who are being raised today without positive father-figures and male role models in their lives.

We remember those like the late Troy Anthony Davis who in September 2011 was executed in Georgia. In as much as his life became the mantra of an international movement in resistance to what many believe was the unjust state-sanctioned murder of a young man through capital punishment, Troy Davis was a fatherless child. Part of his story is the story too often repeated ad-infinitum regarding African-American males today. Troy Davis, like 75% of incarcerated African-American males, grew up without a father in his home. According to several biographical sources, Troy Davis’s father left the home when Troy was three years old.

Decreased wealth and family income pose problems for too many black and brown children with the absence of the father’s income. Having been blessed to grow up with my father living at home with me, I believe that my father’s presence was a key factor in enabling me to avoid the pitfalls that so often create a feeder community for the multi-billion-dollar prison industrial complex, and me becoming victim, as an inner city youth, to what Dr. Michelle Alexander calls the New Jim Crow. This is not to say that Troy Davis’s family failed to properly rear him simply because of economic disparity and dysfunction, but the statistical data related to this familial dynamic is significant – and is seen in the lack of educational achievement, abject unemployment and underemployment, and widening gaps between the richer and poorer across society.

Further, there is one glaring contradictory, contrasting reality that identifies facilities of mass incarceration of young black and brown persons as “Correctional facilities.” Unlike the correction of a loving father who has a vested interest in his son or daughter’s well-being, the correctional system that disproportionately houses citizens of African and Hispanic descent serves today – rather than rehabilitating black and brown life – to stunt life and diminish human potential and possibility with egregious impunity and insatiability.

This form of so-call “correction” is far removed from that which Solomon refers to in Proverbs 3:11-12.

Solomon’s story is considered by many to be perplexing as it relates to many of life’s ironies and contradictions. While Solomon’s name means “peace” or “wholeness” reflective of the expression “Shalom,” significant aspects of Solomon’s life were anything but peaceful. His father, King David was a man of war. David violently took Solomon’s mother, Bathsheba, from her husband, Uriah. David ultimately had Uriah sent to the front line of the war to fight, and Uriah was killed.

The prophet Nathan tells David that “the sword will never leave your household” (2 Samuel 12:10). Solomon was a dysfunctional family, and this carried over to his adult life. He married at least 700 foreign women, and his loyalties and heart became so divided that the nation of Israel eventually was divided while he was their king.

In the midst of this, Solomon was also a man of great wisdom, and offers us wise words on this Father’s Day. In Proverbs chapter 3 verse 11, Solomon says, “My child, do not despise or reject the Lord’s discipline.” The self-existent, self-reliant, self-sufficient God reproves the one God loves. Solomon then tells his readers to not be weary of the Lord’s reproof, for it is like that of a father to a son whom he loves.

The fact of the matter is that our children today need both fathers and mothers.
Indeed, one of the greatest needs in this day and age for a young man (or woman) is a father. And fathers are called upon to walk the walk and talk the talk, not to just live by the mantra that so many seem to choose, “do as I say and not as I do.” In other words, fathers must show consistent character. Teaching a child involves being a godly example as much as anything else.

In the 2002 film Antwone Fisher, navy officer and psychiatrist Jerome Davenport gives guidance and correction, as a father figure, to help a young navy seaman face his past and move on with his life.

When the two meet, Antwone is a moody young man with a record of violence. As a result of his violent behavior, Antwone is ordered to undergo psychiatric treatment. Antwone meets with psychiatrist Dr. Jerome Davenport, and Davenport attempts to get him to open up about his family background. When Dr. Davenport attempts to question him about his parents, Antwone claims that he does not have parents and that he came from “under a rock.”

Antwone eventually gives in and explains his upbringing. He shares that his father was killed when Antwone was 2 months old. Antwone’s mother, Eva Fisher, went to jail, and when she got out she did not claim Antwone, leaving him very bitter. Eventually, Antwone found his family, and this brought the healing he had sought and echoes his dream of sitting at a feast surrounded by loving family members.

Indeed, all of our children need a father or someone like Dr. Davenport in their life. The good news is that God is the example for all fathers here on earth. From the youngest to the oldest among, we have a Spiritual Father who created all of us. God, our Spiritual Father and Creator intended for each of us to exist with a sense of purpose, dignity, and self-worth. Further, like a good biological father, God, our Spiritual Father looks out for, provides for us, protects us, and corrects us. The prophet Jeremiah says it in a way that is encouraging and instructive: “I know the plans I have for you, to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future...” (Jer. 29:11)

Ultimately, it’s good to know that God – our divine parent - who has created us, loves us.

Love divine all loves excelling…